We reveal the real reason the LHC has broken down.

This unexclusive photo provides photograhic evidence of the role played by none other than Half Life’s Gordon Freeman.

The large hadron collider, having been switched on not a month ago, seems to have created a political black hole.

A collision between the metaphysical JZ particle and some obscure political phenomenon known as the “Terror,” has created a blackhole in the fabric of political unity and caused a split in the ANC.